39 Lessons in 39 Years
Having a birthday always allows me to pause for a second & think about what I’m learning. And as I approach the end of a decade (with 1 more year to go before 40), I find myself in deep reflection on the most transformative decade of my life.
My 30’s have been truly life-changing. At 29, I was crying and having an insane quarter-life crisis at the thought of having a bond and living with a boy. That girl believed all kinds of things, and many of them were other people’s expectations of her. My 30’s saved me. They showed me who I really am & helped me make some of the best (and most challenging) decisions of my life, so far. But saying goodbye to people, ideas and expectations have freed me to be the woman I was placed here to be. And I’m so grateful to this decade for that…
Here are my top 39 lessons…so far:
Quality is always better than quantity - in clothing, shoes, bags, friendship, and wine
Supporting other women doesn’t just change their life, it also changes yours
If you don’t have a green thumb, just stop buying plants
“Struggling” through something is often a sign you’re right in the middle of progress. Keep going
Get a phone cover and save yourself the R1000 screen replacement costs twice a year
MAC Ruby Woo is the girl she thinks she is! Best red lipstick on the planet
Lavender oil is everything. Literally, antiseptic, calming, everything
Mornings are for coffee and quiet time
Cleaning out your closet every 6months is almost as good as a holiday
Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you should too. True for everything from calorie counting to having kids
When in doubt, wear black
Hydrate. Period
Don’t maintain your discomfort for others. Go to the bathroom during meetings, tell the person in front of you on the plane not to recline their seat, and let that friend know what happened wasn’t actually ok
There is no such thing as bad feedback. When you genuinely have the other person’s growth and betterment in mind, feedback is neutral
Sundays are for being lazy
Don’t stay in any place that makes you feel uncertain about your worth
And also, do your best to work on whatever is at the source of having your worth triggered. Because it’s always I promise, it’s not the truth
Drink that expensive bottle of bubbly, wear the “going out” shoes - every day is a special occasion. Tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us
Take your own towels to hotels. Fungal infections suck
Cut your hair if you want. It grows back
Turn the heater up to 2 bars
When you think you’ve reached your threshold of what you can handle and are about to give up, check if you might need a glass of water, a walk outside in the sun, a proper meal or some sleep
The right people will get it. And, more often than not, if they don’t get it, they’re not the right people for you
Just because you share blood, history, or proximity, doesn’t mean you share values. And that’s ok
Girls who are not for other girls, are not for me
Being surrounded by art can mean the difference between a mildly bad day and full-blown depression
A worn-in woolly jersey, cozy socks, and a cup of tea can cure most PMS symptoms. For everything else, there are painkillers and magnesium
Invite the quiet ones to talk. You’ll be astounded at the wisdom they can share
Inspiration is contagious
Being a great communicator isn’t about talking, it’s about listening
Vulnerability requires discernment. Not everyone can hold space for you the way you need. Choose wisely
Comparison truly is the thief of joy. It will steal hours from what could have been gratitude, and replace it with resentment
Everyone needs a small vice. Make it a good one
Telling your truth will always show you the truth about others, They can either rise to the occasion or run a mile. Either way, it’ll reveal a lot
Having valuable things is not as important as having values. But the latter can be much harder to accomplish than the former
Trust your gut when it comes to gluten, dairy, and how you feel around certain people
Conflict is essential for real (and lasting) relationships
Fitting in is a double-edged sword because you’re either fitting in and compromising your own individuality or you’re fitting in and judging someone else’s individuality
Love isn’t enough. It has to come with commitment, respect, trust, conflict, and flexibility (to name a few)
Rox
xx
