Happiness is not a goal
Yep, I said it! But, seriously, hear me out.
As we wind down the year, I’m thinking about goal setting. More specifically, I’m thinking about GOOD goal setting. And one goal I hear a lot is “I just want to be happy”.
Now, goals, by definition have clear & tangible specifics; a time frame, an endpoint and actionable steps to get there. Happiness, on the other hand, is an emotion. It’s not an end goal. It cannot be an end goal, because emotions (by definition) are instinctive or intuitive feelings that are separate from rationality, reason, or logic.
As an emotion, happiness can come from very different places. Think about the things that have made you feel happy in your life. Some of the things you planned for or worked towards. Other things surprised you; you didn’t see them coming. So because happiness can be so fleeting and dependant on chance, it’s difficult to articulate as a goal.
We often think that happiness is something we achieve, but happiness is in fact something we experience when we’re living up to our desires.
Happiness isn’t something to be found but rather, something that we encounter along the way, in the process of working towards what we want. It’s a by-product of our goals. In fact, I’d go a step further and say it’s a bonus!
And, If you allow yourself to be in the moment as you make your way through the actionable steps to achieving your goals, happiness is even MORE likely to follow as a by-product.
“It's about living in the moment and appreciating the smallest things. Surrounding yourself with the things that inspire you and letting go of the obsessions that want to take over your mind. It is a daily struggle sometimes and hard work but happiness begins with your own attitude and how you look at the world.”
― Gretchen Rubin
Gretchen Rubin sums it up well here. Reframing how we think about happiness is half the job done. Because when we place happiness as an end-goal in our lives, it becomes something we feel we can get from outside of ourselves. But, understanding that it’s really ALL about the experience of actually working toward our goals, it’s IN the moment, IN the small things, IN the way we approach and think about life…well, that kinda changes the game.
Here are 6 journal prompts to help you cultivate more happiness, right now:
Happy happying ;)
xx
