The 4 Influence-Energy Routine Cycles
I’ve been thinking about how almost every single aspect of life and nature is cyclical. What I mean by that is that, everything takes the form of bloom, thrive, decay and re-bloom, in some way, shape, or form; from nature’s seasons to our hormones to the moon.
And yet, the current trend in self-development seems to encourage the opposite, i.e. rules and theories that have us stuck in patterns of self-doubt and self-sabotage, because we’re trying to live our lives by a rigid (and unrealistic) definition of sameness. I say sameness, but the current narrative around change and optimizing your life will use words like: consistency, repetition and discipline. Often having us believe that missing a day at the gym, having the slice of cake at a birthday party or sleeping in means we’re failing.
In my experience observing the natural unfolding of change in my own life and the lives of the women I coach, I believe there are 4 key cycles of energy that we move through at any given time, depending on what is influencing us. And that whichever cycle we are in determines the kind of change or routine or practices we’ll need in order to help enhance our ability to take care of ourselves for that cycle
Come get into it with me:
The Influence-Energy Routine Cycles
A Keep me Out of Troubles cycle (KMOT cycle)
A Recovery cycle
A High-energy cycle, and
A Pivoting cycle
Each of these cycles are characterised by different internal or external influences that impact our physical energy, mental focus/ agility and emotions and put us at risk of certain “watch-outs” for our well-being. Recognising which cycle you’re in will require you to assess yourself on those criteria (i.e. Influence, physical energy, mental focus, emotions & watch outs)
And based on whichever cycle you find yourself in, a different set of practices and routines to help you maintain your overall all well-being, and therefore, challenge you to adapt a flexible approach to your routines.
The Keep Me Out of Troubles Cycle (KMOT):
This cycle is characterised by tumultuous external influences being placed on you. These are often ones you did not expect and are generally steeped in negativity and loss. These influences have somewhat thrown you off a bit (or a lot), and are events can be something like a death of a loved one, a retrenchment or other loss. These external influences often threaten our basic needs like security, comfort and safety. You may feel shock/ surprise, sadness, grief/ loss and even fear leading to an overwhelming emotional load you are carrying, because these influences can be like a shock to the system. It can feel challenging to control your emotions as a result of these influencing events. In Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown talks about how Overwhelm is an emotion all on its own - and one that leaves us feeling paralysed. And what we require is solitude or peace, in order to get back to baseline to overcome Overwhelm.
And that is exactly what is required in this cycle: a way (or ways) to help you come back to your baseline. See, these unexpected circumstances can often be so surprising that you’re not sure when the cycle will close. These circumstances also require you to take some massively different actions that you may never have taken before, forcing you step into a version of you, you might not have tapped into before.
In these times, the nature of your practice or routine requires you to:
Allow yourself to process and grieve the circumstance that you are in
Sustain your energy as you ride out this cycle while also doing lots of things you’ve never done before
The biggest watch-out in this cycle that threatens your ability to move through it is overthinking, often leading to catastrophising thoughts and potential procrastination. Also a lot of self-blame, self-doubt and indecisiveness can creep in, delaying or even preventing you from doing what needs to be done in this cycle.
My most recent Keep Me Out of Troubles Cycle happened at the end of last year when my largest consulting client let me go. As a result of that, I had to liquidate the private company that was Staple Lifestyle (the business that I traded under). I had never had to do that before, and it was quite an emotionally overwhelming time. I needed a routine that could help me do 3 main things: Get out of bed (because I was insanely depressed, as you can imagine), vent my thoughts and feelings to clear my mind (so I could make room for more helpful solutions) and move my body (so that I could keep close to my gut feelings - because for me, this is how I make most of my big decisions)
2. The Recovery Cycle:
This cycle can be influenced by both internal changes, like our mood, physical energy, and mental or emotional capacity, or external influences, like long-term exposure to a environment or relationship. It leaves us moving slower, being more pensive, and requiring more time alone to think or feel. The reason for this cycle is often a result of an internal low emotional state that can be brought on by our internal need for rest and recuperation. Perhaps due to our monthly menstrual cycle bleed, or even, as a result of coming off a high-energy cycle or KMOT cycle, and requiring some replenishment from that.
In this cycle we are likely to feel sad and pensive, perhaps even bored or annoyed and angry. This cycle can be more about feeling emotionally, socially and intellectually depleted, and at its worst; leading into burnout. It can feel challenging to feel motivated to do your usual routines, to socialise or even perhaps to explain yourself to people in this cycle.
The goal to help navigate through this cycle is rest. It will be helpful to lean into Dr Dalton’s 7 Types of Rest, to determine which you feel you need most.
The biggest watch-outs with this cycle can be a deep depressive state due to lack of motivation, potentially causing you to isolate completely and avoid reaching out for help if your feelings do end up consuming you.
This cycle in my experience is usually relatively short. If it persists, and the watch-outs perpetuate and contribute to you being unable to continue your day, feel productive over a long stretch, and are negatively impacting your daily life, this may be more serious. And I highly recommend seeing a therapist, counsellor, or even just your GP for an initial consultation to figure out if there may be a more serious underlying mental or physical health challenge at the heart of this.
I’m most prone to this cycle when I’m about to have my period, and potentially also the first few days of my bleed. This is brought on by actual hormonal changes in our bodies, as women where our estrogen (energy-giving hormone) and progesterone (calming hormone) significantly deplete and testosterone (our desire hormone) leaving us feeling tired, moody, and like we want to eat all the chocolate in the whole world. My key practices to lean on at this time are ones that allow me more sleep, comfort, and some solitude. So I tend to go to be a bit earlier than usual. I also tend to dress in more fleecy, cosier clothing. And if I’m working from home, I work from the couch, instead of the desk. I also tend to journal more on these days, and reduce my social interactions to just people close to me.
3. The High Energy Cycle:
This cycle is also influenced by external or internal circumstances that either push you or require you to be at a high level of focus, energy, and drive. External circumstances can be work, project, passion or deadline related and internal circumstances, can be a result of naturally having high levels of physical and mental energy and being able to sustain yourself through a period of focus and drive. In this cycle you are likely to be driven by emotions like joy, anticipation or interest/ curiosity or optimism. These emotions are great to “collect” and use as fuel to get big tasks done, pay detailed attention to a project or deadline or motivate you to plan and execute on a big life goal like moving house, getting married etc. Like the Recovery cycle, this cycle is better used in short bursts. Especially if you are being required to switch it on to get something done. Staying in this high-energy cycle can have a taxing effect on your long-term energy, and might force you into a Recovery cycle for longer, or worse, perpetuate burnout or a depressive emotional state.
This cycle is one of the best, because it is the easiest, in my experience, that can be orchestrated. We can draw on practices and routines to help us get into this cycle for a concentrated amount of time - where it feels more like a state we turn on than a naturally occurring cycle we find ourselves in.
The goal of the cycle is to sustain our energy at this level for the best clarity, clear-mindedness, and focus, to see our tasks, project, passion or deadline through.
Key watch-outs of this cycle can be not finding time for ourselves, especially if we have orchestrated it as a requirement from our outside circumstances. But this is also the most essential aspect to keep us going during this cycle. Therefore the practices and routines that can help best in this cycle are ones that are perhaps not as cumbersome, new or experimental but have the highest impact on our ability to find clarity and maintain clear-mindedness and focus. It is also useful to plan for a short Recovery cycle once this one is over because you will need a little rest after this.
Working in the advertising space for a long time, meant I was often consistently required (by external circumstances) to be in this energy cycle. As a rule, I had a very standard, but short daily routine that helped me ramp up my focus, as well as practices that helped me decompress. Things like daily medication (literally 10mins at most a day), staying hydrated, and having something to look forward to each weekend, helped me maintain a High-energy cycle for longer periods of time. As a rule, I also planned for time away (vacations) and low technology days over weekends to help me rest my brain and intellectual capacity to continue, and simulate a Recovery cycle.
However, because I am human, too many High-energy cycles over the period of 5 years took their toll on my body, and I went into physical burnout. I heard on Tik `tok recently (can’t remember who said it) that it takes 22 months to recover from burnout. And because I wasn’t able to able to leave that work environment immediately, my recovery is ongoing. I have only recently begun feeling like myself again.
Use High-energy cycles with caution. And if you are feeling yourself naturally in a High-energy cycle, remember that it won’t last forever. So don’t expect your body and emotional state to be the same forever. Plan your Recovery cycle for after this. NO judgment, no shame.
4. The Pivot Cycle:
This cycle is characterised by a sense of restlessness, and a questioning of what’s next. It is usually brought on by current external circumstances that have you feeling trapped, stuck, bored, frustrated or distracted. The actual circumstances can be negative, like a toxic work environment or relationship, but can also be because you were exposed to something new that piqued your curiosity and interest, and now you’re unable to stop thinking about it, and it’s caused you to view your current circumstances in a more limiting way.
This cycle can also be brought on by new revelations and interests that you discovered in one of the other cycles that have reframed your current circumstances. For example, after my last KMOT cycle and subsequent Recovery cycle, I got really restless about the mission and purpose of The Staple Life. Closing the registered company and then sitting in deep reflection with that, left me with many questions. And a feeling of restlessness regarding where I might take Staple next.
The goal of this cycle is one that encourages experimentation, questioning and curiosity. So the practices and routines that will help you get the most out of this cycle are the ones that help you dive into an experimental mindset. Practices that encourage you to pivot, to switch things up, and keep your curiosity at the forefront.
I believe we are in this cycle more often than we think, but because restlessness doesn’t feel comfortable to us, we often dismiss it and we might opt to put ourselves into a High-energy cycle or use the practices and routines of a High-energy cycle because we think we’re not being productive or, we are looking for answers, so we go off and do do do.
The beauty of this cycle is that if we surrender to the uncertainty and the restlessness, and lean into experimental practices and routines, we create a powerful time for new discovery and creativity. For brand new reflections, learnings and new perspectives to come online for us.
I have found myself in and out to a Pivot cycle maaaaany times over the last 5 years particularly. When I started studying, and then every time I made new progress in my studies, in my practical coaching, as well as throughout the pandemic, with all its natural uncertainty. The practices that help me in a Pivot cycles are ones that I haven’t done in ages, and that bring me joy, purely for joy’s sake. For example, I recently bought an adult colouring book. For context, I was an art student in high school and then took some art history courses at varsity. Art is my guilty pleasure and it manifests in my life these days in our home - we have local art in our home and in my wardrobe. I like clothes - but I haven’t actually drawn anything in ages! And so to get me back in the practice, I thought I’d start small with just a colouring book. And I am LOVING it. It’s reduced my TV time, for sure, it clears my head and gets me into a lovely “white noise” state, where my brain can just rest and surrender to not really doing much. So amazing!
Now, had I not surrendered to the Pivot cycle, and forced myself to just do my usual routine or the tried and trusted practices I’ve always leaned into, I wouldn’t have discovered this beautiful new state. And that state has sparked other levels of creativity in me, like concepting a course, content for this blog, and initiating a podcast.
All this to say: the practices and routines (even habits) we choose to action in our daily lives work best when we are tuned into where our mental, physical (and even spiritual) bodies are at, at any time, given our external & internal influences. Because the truth is we aren’t the same every day, every week or every month. Our lives demand many things from us. And if I have learned anything in my short 38 years, it’s that we were not placed into this life to live in sameness, or even to live in perfection, consistently on the roller coaster of goal achievement and self-blame for “lack” of goal achievement. That’s not a life. Life is crazy, unpredictable, and full of scary, interesting and exciting twists and turns to help us learn to grow and heal.
Should our routines and practices not then be flexible to help us bob and weave with life?
I’ll be dropping a course on how to create routines that help us do just that in June 2023. If you’re keen to see what it’ll be about, visit here, and sign up for the waitlist to be the first to hear when it goes live.
